Tell Me Again
Amy Thunig (UQP, available now)
Tell Me Again is our First Book Club pick for November—Stay tuned for features on our website and join us for an Instagram Live interview with Amy at 7pm (AEDT) on Wednesday 23 November.
As the child of criminalised parents who struggled with heroin addiction, Amy Thunig has lived through periods of familial conflict and abuse, homelessness and trauma. But Tell Me Again is not a misery memoir. Thunig details how she grew up to be an intelligent and successful academic, parent and activist not despite her younger years, but because of them; her empathy, strength and connection to community are all traits that she attributes to her family. Thunig sees her parents as people who are deserving of love even in their worst moments, and remarks that they ‘have supported me to the best of their abilities—through the highs and lows.’
Tell Me Again is not a book about forgiveness, it’s about healing through understanding.
Throughout her childhood and adolescence, Thunig’s father is repeatedly incarcerated. Thunig’s mother explains his absence to young Amy by saying her father is ‘at work’. Years later, Thunig makes small talk at an academic conference, telling a colleague their family lived in Yatala. At the mention of this, ‘The energy of the small group shifts. I can tell in their faces and in my belly that I have erred, that I am erring, and I am not sure how.’ Thunig realises afterwards that this is the name not of a suburb, but of a high security prison. With this one word, this group of middle-class academics cease to see her in an equal light—she is no longer one of them. This kind of othering has stalked Thunig from the very beginning:
The hardest part of a childhood with parents who have these struggles and are criminalised isn’t necessarily life inside your home—it’s how you are treated and mistreated by those outside your home. It’s the ways in which people with authority disrespect, demean and dehumanise your whole family.
As a child, Thunig is followed through the supermarket, verbally abused by teachers and discriminated against because of other people’s assumptions about her family. As an adult in a white-collar industry, despite years of hard work, those opinions still linger. And while the venom of those childhood experiences isn’t replicated here, the othering still stands. At the conference, another Indigenous person comes to Thunig’s rescue, assuring the room she’s misremembered this name, disarming the tension. These moments of warmth and solidarity crop up several times throughout Thunig’s life, and they are just as affecting as the negative ones.
In the years that she attends high school and university, Thunig doesn’t have the capacity to maintain a positive relationship with her parents. And it’s easy to imagine turning bitter and resentful after some of the incidents of her childhood. But Thunig reflects that her parents ‘weren’t choosing heroin over me; they were choosing quiet over the overwhelming noise. It was then that I moved towards understanding, and my resentment began to ease a little.’ This family has been fractured by addiction, trauma and loss. But Thunig also shares so many wonderful moments—family gathering on country and sharing stories, her mother painstakingly op-shopping for businesswear for Thunig to wear at a new job, her parents whooping and cheering in the crowd at a tightly laced university graduation ceremony. These are things that would have never happened if that resentment had won. Tell Me Again is not a book about forgiveness, it’s about healing through understanding the many harsh realities and intergenerational traumas that might damage someone. And, most importantly, that someone who is struggling is just as human as the rest of us.
– Ellen Cregan



