A book deal is—for an aspiring author—a panacea after a lifetime of longing. For a publisher, it’s Tuesday. Because that’s the day acquisition meetings are held, where a publisher must decide if your book is something they can sell, that they want to buy off you. Hence a book deal.
To help them, an author must, as though in a Cronenberg movie, reach into one’s own chest and rip out the heart to render a work of undeniable literary worth—the shining facets of your soul rendered in ink on the page. That’s one way. The other is to be popular on TikTok.
With literary fiction, an author generally has to write the whole novel and have it fairly perfect before taking it to a publisher. Non-fiction book deals are often offered without a complete manuscript, because it’s easier to market and sell non-fiction, particularly memoir. This is why every celebrity will be offered a book deal at some point. Which they usually take, even if they don’t want to write a book. There are many, many celebrities with book deals that they don’t know quite what to do with. I know this because I ghost-write these books for them, and because my latest novel, Appreciation, is about exactly that—being trapped in a cursed book deal with no way out. Please buy it. I signed a deal on it, and while I’m a perfectly serviceable literary author, I’m not very popular on TikTok.