big beautiful female theory
Eloise Grills (Affirm Press, available now)
big beautiful female theory is our First Book Club pick for July—Join us on Instagram Live at 7pm AEST Wednesday 20 July for a live in-conversation event with the author and First Book Club host Ellen Cregan!
On page two of big beautiful female theory, Eloise Grills asks: ‘Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimised by body / positivity.’ This quote, reappropriated from the 2004 film Mean Girls, situates us immediately. We are here to think deeply, but also be entertained.
Throughout the book, Grills pieces together the sinister origins of modern beauty standards from the western art canon through to snapchat filters. Her recollections of millennial teenage girlhood will be familiar to many readers who grew up in the 2000s. Grills dissects her teenage self, and this portion of the book has a sense of confession to it. She recalls: ‘When I was fourteen, someone told me that I was the second ugliest in my group of friends. Confirming my realest teenage fear: that I was grotesque, but also somehow unremarkable.’
But as well as memories of the sad, specific awkwardness of being a teenager, there is reflection. Grills writes about a close friend who was also a casual bully—giving nasty nicknames and acting with the sugary cruelty that seemed to dominate schoolyards in the mid-2000s. Grills asks her adult self ‘…does she look back at me as the villain of her childhood?’ This is a question that has also haunted me (and probably many others) into adulthood. Here, and in all the other essays in this book, there’s an intimacy to Grills’ writing that is impossible to escape. Her humour and wit is punctuated by sensual and occasionally grotesque metaphors and images—a polished stream-of-consciousness. Grills does this extremely well through just her words, but the graphic elements of the book are even more effective. The illustrations have a dreamlike quality, but figures and expressions are often exaggerated—cheesy grins, distorted body parts or proportions, and stylised re-imaginings of moments from pop culture appear throughout. In some essays, Grills also illustrates the faces of the writers she is quoting—a fresh spin on bibliography.
A delightful ‘up yours’ to the stale, pale, maleness of how Western culture views and articulates the body.
Whether through self-portraiture or personal essay, big beautiful female theory is also concerned with the act of self-representation. In one essay, Grills observes:
I draw myself to replicate the
feeling of hovering inside/
outside myself
But there is more to this than just constructing a mirror. Grills wants to envision what the world could look like filled with the art of empowered and unstoppable ‘fat bitches’, and links the personal with the canon. In ‘The fat bitch in art’ she goes back through history to examine the tendency of the Western art luminaries to simultaneously punish and fetishise women for having bodies, or more specifically fat bodies. Grills wonders, ‘Why did [Peter Paul] Rubens paint fat chicks anyway? Maybe Rubens was jealous he didn’t have big cans. I would be jealous, too, but then, I have big cans’, once again revolting against the status quo in a way that makes readers cackle. In imagining a gallery she calls ‘The Museum of Fat Bitches’ Art’, Grills conjures an inverted world that celebrates the artists that actually inhabit these bodies, over the likes of Rubens.
In its structure, subject matter and—probably most importantly—its attitude, this book is a delightful ‘up yours’ to the stale, pale, maleness of how Western culture views and articulates the body in written and visual art. This is nonfiction at its very best: captivating and exciting.
– Ellen Cregan



